2 deadly sins

Greed.
Lust.

I am struggling with these right now.

The list of things that I want is growing.  And it is not growing with inexpensive items either.

This summer I visited my cousin’s home and both she and another cousin have an iPad.  Guess who wants one now?  More on that in a minute.

One of these same cousins had on a pretty watch.  Guess who wants one now??

Two of my really close girlfriends just bought brand new cars …

Another cousin just got a new smart phone …

Did I mention I have a couple of friends who is in the process of buying brand new houses?

The saddest part out of all of this is that some of these are things that I can afford but can’t really justify buying while still in debt.  They are definite WANTS.

Somewhere on the internet someone coined the term “debt fatigue“.  I think I am suffering from some form of it.  I am not tired of paying off my debt but if it were to go away tomorrow, the debt that is, I would not be upset.   I’m tired of not buying things because I am in debt.

I do not want to keep up with the Joneses.  I just want new stuff!!! LOL  Okay, that sounded wonky.

Case in point; last year I visited my Aunt and her hubby bought the iPad.  I was not impressed.  It seemed like an expensive toy for adults.  Fast forward one year, my cousins have it, now I am motivated.  I don’t need one.  I spend all day in front of a computer at work and all night in front of my laptop at home.  My commute is minimal and I don’t travel as much as I think is necessary to warrant another gadget.  I DON’T NEED IT.  I just want it.

Don’t get me started on the pretty watch.  I looked at my cousin’s wrist this summer but could not tell what the brand was.  I don’t know why but I didn’t feel like asking her what it was at the time.  I went home and was still obsessing about it so I asked her the brand.  Then google became my arch-enemy.  I looked up the brand.  I vaguely remember what the watch looks like and there are a couple that are similar.  These are 4 digit watches.  WT****!?!

Wait, the story gets worst.  In my feverishly delusional wanting state, I looked at where to buy such a fancy dancy piece.  I went on websites that carried the brand and noticed they had other pretty ridiculously expensive luxury timepieces, because when they cost this much they are no longer watches!!  I so need a hobby as I will sadly say I spent more time than I want to admit looking at various brands.  **hanging head in shame**

The story does not end there.  Yesterday I had to play taxi driver for my mother.  In doing so, it took me near one of the stores that sells these things …  You can see where this is going right?  I had time to kill and thought why not.  The brand my cousin wears was front and center when I walked in the store.  I tried on a few pieces but the one I was lusting after was not in the store.   While there I thought let’s see what else they have.  To her credit the saleslady did tell me there was a bit of a price difference.   I fell in love with a beyond crazy 5 digit priced watch.  It is beautiful.  It cost more than my frickin car!?!

Oh to dream.  It is only in writing this post that it is really starting to sink in how absolutely absurd it would be for me to own such a watch.  Did I mention it was pretty?

WSR for wk ending Sep 25

Monday
-$12.67 dinner
-$126.09 running shoes for the kidlets

Tuesday
-$12.42 lunch 

Wednesday
-$26.12 groceries

Thursday
No Spend Day

Friday
-$21.64 lunch & dinner

Saturday
-$30.71 dinner
-$108.59 groceries & stuff from Wal-Mart

Sunday
No Spend Day

Total: -$338.24
 

2 no spend days, on track with this month’s goals.  ;)

I need to stop spending so much $ on feeding myself and my kids.  I need to recommit to eating at home and bringing my lunch to work EVERY day.

*the above does not include my savings, housing or debt repayment.

New TV schedule

A new season of “must see” TV has started.

Now that Oprah is gone … I have 5 hours a week free!!!  It is not my intention to fill all 5 hours that are now available.

I was reluctant to start watching anything new until I saw the preview for Person of Interest starring Michael Emerson, Jim Caviezel and Taraji P. Henson.  I am a huge fan of Jim Caviezel since The Count of Monte Cristo, my all time favourite film.

The Count of Monte Cristo

 

Then I saw him in The Passion of the Christ and was blown away.  Not just by his acting but up until that point no one knew much about him.  According to reports I read, he is a stand up kinda guy and I like that.

So last night I watched Person of Interest.  I enjoyed it and am considering adding it to my roster.

 

 

 

 

 

(Source)

WSR for wk ending Sep 18

Monday
-$5.46 lunch
-$18.23 groceries
+$30 Costco gift card 

Tuesday
NO SPEND DAY

Wednesday
NO SPEND DAY

Thursday
-$74.09 groceries

Friday
-$100 wedding present
-$22 car wash
-$37. 90 pedicure
-$1.13 wedding card
-$12. 07 Wal-Mart stuff

Saturday
-$44.44 groceries for the bride
-$30 gas
-$120.90 hotel

Sunday
-$5 something Costco
-$24.15 dinner

Total: -$495.37
+$30
Grand total: -$465.37 

2 no spend days, on track with this month’s goals.  ;)

The wedding was beautiful.  I enjoyed my night away from the city.  Not a bad week.  Now to just get rid of these germs!!!

*the above does not include my savings, housing or debt repayment.

The wk-end was great until …

I am so far behind in everything.

Friday I drove 2+ hours North to see my friend get married.  She looked beautiful and happy.  The venue was picturesque. We ate.  We toasted.  We sat outside by the bonfire in the cold dark North.  The following day they had a BBQ.  As much as I thought I was dressed properly, I was wrong.

Now I am sick.  :(  It’s just a cold but I feel horrible.  I am not a fan of congestion AND runny nose at the same time.  I have sinus pain and a sore throat.

I took yesterday off.  I just couldn’t handle it.  I slept the whole morning away.  It was great.

Today I am on go slow.  I feel better but not great.

Light still hurts my eyes.  So being on the computer is not pleasant.

I will do my WSR tomorrow.

Perception

I think it’s safe to say I did not get the job.  The temporary location should be up and running by this weekend.  Oh well.  I think it’s all for the best.  Given how many late nights I have worked in the past couple of weeks I don’t know that having to go to a part-time job would have been possible.  The extra money would be nice but when all is said and done I have to make hard choices about what is best to do for my children and myself.

This part-time job quest is a want not a need.  I struggle to comprehend how hard life is for those who don’t have a choice. 

I have never known poverty.  I have never been in a position where I had to choose between paying a bill and eating.  I have a great life.  At times I forget that. 

Recently and I don’t know if I discussed it here, I found out that one of my cousins has advanced aggressive breast cancer.  The cure rate is 82% and I have nothing to hold on to but that.  She told me the name of it and I made the mistake of googling it.  I fear for my cousin.  I pray every night that this will end well for her.

 The universe is showing me that the life I have is fantastic.  I may not be debt free yet or have those perfect always well-behaved kids … but we are healthy and not starving with a roof over our heads. 

Perception …

The train wreck is back

A new season of Extreme Couponing started last night … it is like a bad train wreck.  I didn’t mean to start watching it, really I didn’t … but once I did, there was no turning away.

On a positive note there was a woman who was shopping to give the items to her friend.  That was generous and nice.  I can’t remember her grand total but she only paid $80 out-of-pocket.

The family that had me shaking my head was from Detroit.  They had dreams of getting out of the bad neighbourhood they lived in and moving to Hawaii.  They were couponing to save money to move.  This made sense to me until I realized  that their intention was to move with all the items they had acquired while couponing.  The family had only been shopping with coupons for 10 months and already amassed a stock pile that took up 2 rooms.  On the shopping trip that was featured, they bought $1167.76 worth of products for $35.38.  Nine grocery carts full of stuff.

Now I don’t claim to be a shipping expert nor do I play one on TV, but isn’t sending all this stuff from one side of the continent to the other going to eat up any all savings she had earned??  2 rooms of stuff; cleaning supplies which are big and weigh a lot, various boxes and cans of food, and who knows what else packed up and sent to an island in the middle of the Pacific ocean.  And this is not even considering the contents of their home.  If you are going to pack up groceries and what not, you are not leaving your TV, couch etc.

Since I consider myself a logical person I decided to do an illogical thing, because this whole shipping all this stuff across the country was just making me think more than I wanted to.  So I did the only thing that made sense to me, research.  On to the UPS site I went.  Now I am sure there are more economical ways of shipping a household but since it is not my dime I was not inspired to do all that kind of research.

I picked a random zip code in Detroit and one in Hawaii and plugged them into the website’s time and cost calculator.  I picked 10 lbs as the weight of my package.  And you know what I came up with?  Cheapest way was $63.55 via ground.  It would take 5 business days to get there.  Not sure how one does “ground” travel to Hawaii, but okay.

Now this is where you learn how truly nerdy I am as I got to thinking that this family might drive their belongings to the most Western part of the US in order to save on freight costs.  Hey … it could happen.  So I picked a random zip code in San Diego to see if it would be cheaper.

And you know what I found!?!

It cost the same to ship and it only reduced the delivery time by 2 days … going “ground”.  HUH!?!  Say what?

How that makes sense remains a mystery to me … anyone?

 

WSR for wk ending Sep 11

Monday
NO SPEND DAY 

Tuesday
-$63.35 groceries
-$55.00 school stuff (agendas, gym uniform for Diva)

Wednesday
NO SPEND DAY

Thursday
-$16.22 dinner at KFC 

Friday
-$20.75 breakfast AND lunch

Saturday
-$87.37 groceries
-$57.02 gas
-$459.68 uniform store

Sunday
-$55.00 garage remote

Total: -$759.39

2 no spend days, on track with this month’s goals.  ;)

It would have been three if the super didn’t find me today.  I decided to get a remote for the garage door in my building instead of the regular fob.  I was toying with the idea of letting my kids come home instead of going to the after school program.  Since they are both involved with different school activities, they would not be coming home together.  So they would both need their own key and fob.  I only have 2.

Last week was a little stressful since they were supposed to meet my mother at her house for 4:15pm on Thursday and Friday.  This did not happen.  The plan was to go to the library after school then walk to my Mother’s house.  On Thursday, they were engrossed in who knows what at the library, forcing my mother to go look for them.  On Friday, my Mother found Princess at my sister’s field hockey try outs and Diva at the library.  I am not prepared for this.

So I decided I do not need the stress of trying to figure out where they are when they are supposed to be home.  So this year they will continue to go to the after school program.  Diva used last week as yet another example of why she and her sister need cell phones.

*the above does not include my savings, housing or debt repayment.

10 years have passed

And it doesn’t seem to get any easier.

September 11, 2001 was a day in history that we will never forget.  It was filled with incredible pain and human generosity.

I was in college that day.  Leaving my first class to go home while walking through the student center I saw the second plane hit the tower on a television.  I thought it was a preview for a new movie.

I was very wrong.

I spent the next few hours glued to my tv.  At the time one of my Uncles traveled frequently for business.  There was a driving need to find him.  Once he was found safe and sound, I learned I have a cousin who works for United.  Again a bit of worry.  My cousin was on a different flight.  I could only be grateful.  One of my cousins used to work in one of the World Trade Centers.  A few people she knew and used to work with were killed that day.

My cousin, whose father is the travelling businessman, called me.  I could barely get the words out that he was safe without tears falling.

I was in shock.  How could this happen?  Those poor unfortunate people and their families.

On the news that night I distinctly remember tearing up, not for the loss but for the outpouring of kindness.  A great many planes were grounded in Gander, Newfoundland as US airspace was closed.  Those people were given the best of Canadian hospitality humanity.  The locals opened their homes and gave food, clothes and a friendly shoulder to lean on, whatever was needed.  That’s the kind of world I want to live in.

On my list of things to do was to eat at the restaurant, Windows on the World, that was in the Trade Center.  Several trips to NYC always left me with the feeling I would do it next time.

There will be no next time.

 

Whoo hoo the wk-end’s here

This week felt long.  I find all 4 day work weeks like that.  Everyone is usually so happy to have Monday or Friday off … except me.  It always feels like I am trying to get 5 days worth of work into 4 days.  Not my favourite feeling at all.

Couple this with ‘mother’s guilt’ it made for a long week.  And what do I have to feel guilty about you ask?  My kids wear a uniform to school.  This is Diva’s first year at this school so we needed to get her the proper attire.

Remember this and this, when money was escaping from my bank account with little regard for my hopes and dreams??  Well it was sometime in that time frame that I went to get her some clothes.  Last year when I took Princess to get her uniform I was a novice and bought it all at once and cringed when I got to the cashier.  So this time I thought I would be smarter.

Since it was hot like Tahiti when we went to the store, I only bought shorts, skort and short sleeve shirts.  Tuesday morning was chilly.  And all my poor child had was warm weather clothes.  :(  And there is where the guilt came in.

Tuesday after work I took her back to the uniform store, the line up was snaking through the store.  Thanks, but no thanks.  So it is on the list of places to go today.

Have you ever been ridiculously happy to see Saturday?