Late last month I took my girls to the eye doctor as Diva was squinting a lot. Princess not so much but it was a free check up so I thought why not.
Both their prescriptions have changed for the worst. It is a significant change that will require new glasses or at least new lenses for both. Since I just bought new glasses last year and my benefits only cover new glasses every two years I contacted their father to see what he could do.
I know that he has fantastic benefits but felt like I had to “play the fool” and let him be the hero. I don’t really have the energy for this but given that I am tightening my budget I swallowed my pride. So the question was asked and when the kids went by his place a couple of weeks ago Diva asked again. He asked for the prescription and said he would take care of it. I have heard nothing since. I still have the prescription.
I don’t think that my purpose in this life is to ever chase after someone who makes a promise to me. We are all adults. We know our obligations.
Diva has asked for contacts. A couple of ladies who are smarter than me (I’m looking at you, Carla and Mutant Supermodel) told me that 12 was not too young. Contacts are cheaper in the short-term than glasses, as I just have to get to 2013 in order for their glasses to be covered by my benefits.
With all this in mind, I figured let’s get my girls some contacts. I made an appointment at Costco since they will give you a trial pair.
The appointment was half successful. The goal was to put the contacts in, take them out, and then put them back in again and leave. Diva manged this with minimal problems. Princess struggled to get them in and then it was a battle to get the last one out. After all was said and done, my girl was so frustrated and mad she refused to put them back in again.
I think that seeing her younger sister finish before her only increased her anxiety and feelings of failure. 😦
I let her be upset for all the way home. She wasn’t speaking to me at this point. At home she went to her room. I let her be alone for a bit. When I went to check on her she was in tears. After some prodding she finally confessed that she feels that she has to be perfect and that she failed. She mentioned some things her father has told her. Coupled with her expressing that she is not the child I want, my heart broke.
I consoled her as best as I could. I tried to reassure her that I never expect her to be perfect only that she tries her best. I told her that she will fail at something and that was okay. Failing is an opportunity to learn and grow. I’m not sure how much of it she absorbed, as she kept repeating that she has to be perfect and that she doesn’t want to fail.
Tonight when she is hopefully less emotional, I will attempt to talk to her again as trying to be perfect is an exhausting way to live and that is not the life I want for either of my children.
Moving forward, when there is an activity to be done I will take my girls separately. This way Princess does not feel like she’s competing with Diva. Maybe that will take away some of her anxiety.
Although having said that I signed them both up for volleyball lessons at the same time. I’m going to take them to the first lesson and see what happens. If Princess looks like she’s not enjoying it I will give her the opportunity to do something else.
Life is too short and she is too young to be walking around feeling like a failure.
Any suggestions or feedback would be greatly appreciated.