Random thoughts of an upbeat mind

Waiting

I am not going to MD tomorrow.

My cousin has strict instructions to not have anyone around other than her care team. Which probably for the best since according to another cousin she’s not really “here”. She still has moments of clarity from time to time but she spends the majority of the day with her eyes closed.

2 days ago she told her hospice nurse that she only has 4 days left. I think she could be on the money. On Sunday it will be exactly 2 months before her 50th birthday.

I was told that it is believed she was waiting for our cousin, who is like a little sister to her, to return from vacation. She came back on Wednesday and went to visit yesterday.

I really wanted to say good-bye, but it’s not all about me. Better I have memories of her in better health than laying in bed semi-unconscious.

I hate this waiting. It feels horrible to be waiting for her to pass.

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