Random thoughts of an upbeat mind

Posts tagged ‘parenting’

Change in plans

I try not to dwell on it too often but life as a single parent is sometimes full of challenges.

On Friday was Diva’s birthday.  Her Dad got in contact with her on Saturday and said he had an errand to run then he would call and come pick her up.  My child was up until 2 am … no phone call. 😦 He sent her a text message at 7 am Sunday morning saying he had car trouble the night before and that he was going to work and would call when he’s finished.  No time given. 😦

My Mom & sister came over yesterday to give Diva her birthday present.  After being bored in the house, Diva and my sister went to the park.  Wouldn’t you know that would be the very time that my kids’ father would decide to call.  Diva returned shortly and called him back.  He was upset that she was not home. *argh* They made plans for this morning.  He was hoping for 8 am.  My girls got up around 10:30.  When Diva was ready she called him.  No answer. 😦

Yesterday I got a call from my Dad.  My step-Mom is an awesome cook and I never turn down an opportunity to eat her cooking.  So tonight we are going to their place to have Thanksgiving dinner. 🙂

I made a quick call to my Dad today to remind him that Friday was Diva’s birthday. O__o  Yup, he forgot.  I told him we just need to acknowledge it and she will be happy.  And she would not turn down cash. 😉

Every year they forget.  Diva is now getting to an age where she notices and feels sad that she is overlooked.  Princess’ birthday is near mine so she always gets some sort of celebration.

So since I am going out for Thanksgiving dinner I have to put off cooking my turkey parts.  I am debating whether to cook it in the week or leave it until the weekend.  From what I found on google, the parts only take about 2 hours to cook so I could get one of the kids to put it in the oven when they get home.

While writing this my kids’ Dad texted Diva and he is on his way. 🙂  I’ll pick up my kids on my way to my Dad’s.

Hopefully the time spent with their Dad will be a pleasant one.

 

 

 

Crisis averted

I love my children.  Even more so when they think I just recently fell off the turnip truck.

Last night I came home from dinner with my girlfriend to have this conversation.

Princess: Mom, I NEED to go to the mall tomorrow.

Me: Why?

Princess: Because I have to get my iTouch fixed.

Me: What’s wrong with your iTouch?

Princess: It’s not charging.

Me: Why isn’t it charging?

Princess:  Well YOU left the watering can beside my computer and I didn’t notice and the charger for my iTouch fell in and I put my iTouch to charge and now it’s not charging.

Me: Did you try the other charger?

Princess: YES MOTHER, and it doesn’t work either.

Me: Did you put it in rice?

Princess: Why would I do that?

Me: To dry it out.

Princess: Why would I know that?

LOL.

So my girl proceeds to get some rice and puts her iTouch in the rice.  I tell her to put it somewhere safe.  Partway though the evening I heard the pitter patter of rice falling … O__o

This morning guess whose iTouch can charge??? 😉

Best intentions

Late last month I took my girls to the eye doctor as Diva was squinting a lot.  Princess not so much but it was a free check up so I thought why not.

Both their prescriptions have changed for the worst. It is a significant change that will require new glasses or at least new lenses for both.  Since I just bought new glasses last year and my benefits only cover new glasses every two years I contacted their father to see what he could do.

I know that he has fantastic benefits but felt like I had to “play the fool” and let him be the hero.  I don’t really have the energy for this but given that I am tightening my budget I swallowed my pride.  So the question was asked and when the kids went by his place a couple of weeks ago Diva asked again.  He asked for the prescription and said he would take care of it.  I have heard nothing since. I still have the prescription.

I don’t think that my purpose in this life is to ever chase after someone who makes a promise to me.  We are all adults.  We know our obligations.

Diva has asked for contacts. A couple of ladies who are smarter than me (I’m looking at you, Carla and Mutant Supermodel) told me that 12 was not too young.  Contacts are cheaper in the short-term than glasses, as I just have to get to 2013 in order for their glasses to be covered by my benefits.

With all this in mind, I figured let’s get my girls some contacts.  I made an appointment at Costco since they will give you a trial pair.

The appointment was half successful. The goal was to put the contacts in, take them out, and then put them back in again and leave.  Diva manged this with minimal problems.  Princess struggled to get them in and then it was a battle to get the last one out.  After all was said and done, my girl was so frustrated and mad she refused to put them back in again.

I think that seeing her younger sister finish before her only increased her anxiety and feelings of failure. 😦

I let her be upset for all the way home.  She wasn’t speaking to me at this point.  At home she went to her room.  I let her be alone for a bit.  When I went to check on her she was in tears.  After some prodding she finally confessed that she feels that she has to be perfect and that she failed.  She mentioned some things her father has told her. Coupled with her expressing that she is not the child I want, my heart broke.

I consoled her as best as I could.  I tried to reassure her that I never expect her to be perfect only that she tries her best.  I told her that she will fail at something and that was okay.  Failing is an opportunity to learn and grow.  I’m not sure how much of it she absorbed, as she kept repeating that she has to be perfect and that she doesn’t want to fail.

Tonight when she is hopefully less emotional, I will attempt to talk to her again as trying to be perfect is an exhausting way to live and that is not the life I want for either of my children.

Moving forward, when there is an activity to be done I will take my girls separately.  This way Princess does not feel like she’s competing with Diva.  Maybe that will take away some of her anxiety.

Although having said that I signed them both up for volleyball lessons at the same time. I’m going to take them to the first lesson and see what happens.  If Princess looks like she’s not enjoying it I will give her the opportunity to do something else.

Life is too short and she is too young to be walking around feeling like a failure.

Any suggestions or feedback would be greatly appreciated.

Cutting the apron strings

I have two great kids who have been singing the “I’m old enough and responsible so I should get to go home after school instead of going to the after school program” song for quite some time now.

I am not completely convinced.

Colour you shocked I’m sure.

BUT.

I did let them stay home by themselves over the Christmas holidays and other than being bored, they were alright.

AND.

They are the oldest kids at the after school program.  They don’t always arrive before I get there because of after school activities or dilly-dallying, so what am I paying for?

My reasoning for not letting them go home was based on where we live and they would have to take 2 buses to get there while passing a mall.  Do you see where I am going here?

BUT.

They have friends who live even further away than we do who go home on their own so I am conducting an experiment in responsibility.

Last night I cut an extra key because even though they attend the same school they never seem to leave at the same time. This morning the extra key along with the spare key was sent to school with my daughters with strict instructions to call when they got home.

Now I wait to see what will happen.

My babies are growing up.  This is the first second step in letting go.  I’m not sure I am ready.

I have spent a great deal of time day-dreaming about the days when my kids would be more independent so I could regain some of my own life back.  Now that it’s happening it is bittersweet.

I only have a few more years to shape them into productive members of society.  Hopefully a few more years of influence, so that I can help them stay on the right path.

I am excited to see the women they will become, but not yet ready to let go of the children they were.