Random thoughts of an upbeat mind

Posts tagged ‘friends’

This and that

Exercise was lacking last week, but I’m getting on it this week. I am going to Florida at the end of the month and I want to be in better shape. Mostly so the clothes that are in my closet might fit nicer. Really don’t want to buy new clothes.

Last week’s win was that I stopped eating at 8:30 pm on most nights. If I am not exercising, I will have to control my eating. I still eat most things although the acne on my chin seems to suggest I should lay off the dairy. I will be eating “cleaner” until my trip.

I saw Avengers: Endgame … all 3 glorious hours of it. I stopped drinking liquids at 3 pm before the 8 pm showing and was able to sit comfortably throughout the whole movie. It was a good show. My oldest was a hot mess at the end.

Took my car for an oil change and ended up buying 2 new tires as the mechanic found a nail in one of the tires. It was recommended that I get at least 2 tires for evenness or something of the nature. So that was a bit unexpected. Over the past 2 weeks, I have spent quite a bit so I am going to try to lay low for the rest of the month.

I changed my availability at my part time job so hopefully in a couple of weeks I can get my Saturday nights back and start socializing again.

I went to see a friend who recently got some bad news on the health front. It was sobering to see her so low energy. I was only there for about 30 minutes before she looked like she was ready to nap. This whole situation makes me very sad.

Reached out to my Dad today and was happy to learn that he is going out and meeting new people. In fact he is so busy, it makes me look bad. He seems to be making great strides with getting out there. It might be time for his daughter to follow suit. 😉

Work update

Sometimes I really love my friends. One of my oldest friends sent me a text last week to let me know her workplace is hiring. I immediately sent her my resume. We went back and forth regarding some of the details of the job and the company. I told her my salary range and that I was flexible and the HR rep from her company still sent me an email inquiring about coming in for an interview.

I am fairly sure the position will pay less than my current gig. How much less remains to  be seen. I am trying to figure out how much of a salary cut I am willing to do. My main focus is the ability to grow, short term pain for long term gain. 😉

There are other benefits that might make a pay cut acceptable, such as retirement contributions matching and profit sharing. It is further away (20 mins vs my current 10) and would take me back to 2 weeks vacation …

I have given either Tuesday or Wednesday as options for the interview and will probably take the day off. I need a break. Last week was incredibly frustrating as it was determined that I must get a laptop even though I will never take it home. I live 10 minutes away and am a workaholic. I don’t see a time/day that I could not make it into work. What I can reasonably see is that I would start working from home and making my days even longer. No thanks.

Back to the new laptop which was not set up when I came into work … 😡 Couple that with we are doing renovations and needed to pack up and empty our desks so the new carpet could be installed over the weekend. I took everything I owned home. I am mentally done.

I hope when I get my next job offer I can give more than two weeks notice as it does take long to find acceptable candidates. One of my team members is leaving and has told our manager. My manager can not start interviewing until my coworker hands in her written resignation.

The madness continues. I hope this week’s interview will being positive results. Wish me luck!


The latest

It’s been a whirlwind two weeks. I have been meaning to come on here but with everything that’s been going on something had to give. 😦

2 weeks ago, my Aunt from MD was passing through on her way home from visiting my Grandfather in Antigua. Since her 50th birthday was last weekend, her older sister (also my Aunt ;)) decided to throw her a impromptu birthday lunch. It was a great event except for the huge shock I got walking into my Aunt’s house and seeing her head tied up with a scarf as she has no hair.

My Aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer in March, just before her trip to Antigua to help my Grandmother since my Grandfather had fallen and broken his hip. In between this trip and the one in May for my Grandmother’s funeral, my Aunt had a lumpectomy. Initially her diagnosis was good and it still is but her doctors have prescribed 4 rounds of chemo. When I saw her, she was at the half way point.

I had no idea. My Aunt thought either one of her daughters or my Dad would have told me. I spent the entire visit watching my Aunt. I was in shock.

2.5 weeks ago the father of one of my good friends suddenly passed away. He had a heart attack at work and just like that he was gone. She has not been dealing well with it at all. Yesterday was the funeral and it was hard.

With all of this, I have still managed to work out 6 days a week for the past 3 weeks. 🙂 Hence why this blog has been quiet.

Life is slowly returning to “normal”.

Last week’s happenings

Let’s see where did we leave off? Ah yes the missed Maxwell concert. I did speak to my “friend” and his take on it was since I had secretly put my ticket back into the envelope with his ticket, he took that to mean that I was not interested in going.  He didn’t seem to understand why I might be upset.

So my perceived actions hold more weight that my words. Duly noted. We have had no words since that conversation on Wednesday. Knowing him like I do, it will be a while before he contacts me and I refuse to contact him. Not out of spite or because I am still upset, but more so because I felt hurt and wanted that feeling acknowledged and it was not.

The past work week was full of drama. There were lots of tears at work. My office roomie has been in a rut the past 5+ weeks and she is extremely negative. Any time she is involved in a closed door meeting with someone in management it usually ends up with her in tears. She says she’s just one of those people who “tears up” when she’s angry. I’m not so sure. Other coworkers who have been in the company longer than I have tell me this is just how she is.

She’s very unhappy at work and her energy is just draining. I am a very positive person but I find myself avoiding her as it’s just easier for me. I can’t win an “argument” when most of her “evidence” is from before my time.

Our manager and the new VP are working very hard to change the corporate culture and she just keeps prattling on about how it will never happen. Since I started I have seen a change. It is small but moving in the right direction.

On Friday I told my roomie if she isn’t job searching she should start as she is clearly not happy. She says she is but hasn’t seen anything that catches her eye. I hope she finds something soon as it is not healthy to live like she does.

On Wednesday, there was an incident where we were all in a meeting in my manager’s office and the old team manager asked the newest member for the price of an item (which she would not know off the top of her head having been there less than 3 weeks). Being put on the spot embarrassed the new lady. This was witnessed by the assistant to our company’s general manager, who deemed it inappropriate. This lead to a closed door meeting with the assistant, current dept manager, VP and new team member.

Before this meeting, I was in the kitchen with another coworker and the new lady came in and was basically shaking she was so mad. There were tears.

Thursday morning found the new girl in my office talking exchanging stories of misery with my roomie. I’m too old for all of this.

A short rant

I need new friends.

Back story, I have a male friend who I dated briefly but it just was not meant to be. We have settled into being friends.

We go to the movies and meals out, which now that I type it sounds like dating but without any physical contact. He was a great help moving my Mom’s fridge and freezer.

So I thought I would do something nice.

Maxwell was coming to Toronto (technically is here tonight), so I confirmed that he would be available and was interested in seeing Maxwell before I bought the tickets.

Bought a nice thank you card and put the 2 tickets in.

First things first he was surprised and I told him not to feel obligated to take me as that was not my plan but he said no he wanted to go with me. This was back in April.

Nothing else is said about this event.

Fast forward to last night and we’re texting as he’s at work from 3pm-11pm. So I ask him if he’s working this shift all week. To which the answer was yes. So I confirm that this means he’s not going to see Maxwell. He says yes. I ask if he pawned the tickets. To which I got another yes. O_o

What the what!?! I want to cuss.

Now I know I gave him the tickets so they were his to do with as he pleased but I thought we had plans to go. There was no mention of not going. This makes me wonder had we not had this conversation yesterday what would have happened had I texted today to say I was ready and what time should I pick you up.

All I can do is shake my head.

Not impressed at all.

Lesson learned.

Family time

My cousin is getting married on Friday and this has brought my Grandparents back to visit.  It’s been two years since they were last here. They will be visiting for the next 2 weeks. 🙂 I will be trying to get as much time in with them as possible. They are in their 80s and while still healthy I know the clock is counting down.

My Dad had a little get together yesterday which my Grandparents and an Uncle attended. My Grandmother was in her element.  She is hilariously opinionated. I’ve missed that.

My cousin is here from the West Coast and over the next few days a lot of other family will be coming to town. I’m so excited to see them all and spend time with them.

Wednesday is the bachelourette and Canada Day.  From the itinerary there will be drinking, fireworks and more drinking. 🙂

Some time in this week I need to squeeze in a visit with an old friend who is here with her children from Florida until Saturday. She hasn’t been here in over 15 years. I am trying hard to think if she was here when Diva was born. I have never met her 3 beautiful children. I am hoping that we will be able to meet up tomorrow.

Sept No/Low Spend Challenge update #1

No low spend challenge


I think the universe is conspiring against me.  It’s like it knows that I have minimal willpower where certain things are concerned.

I have a friend who frequently takes me out to eat.  Today we met for breakfast and I picked up the cheque.  Usually we go out for dinner which we all know is significantly more expensive.  It was “only” $25 but on a no/low spending challenge I should have kept my hands in my pocket and out of my wallet.  But I don’t want to take advantage of the kindness of friends.    I also don’t want to be nominated for an episode of Princess if I can help it!! LOL

Maybe it was because I was away last month but I am on the receiving end of 2 invitations for lunch this week.  The last time I went to lunch with these friends they paid … I don’t want to turn down the invite especially when it’s my turn to treat.  Oh what to do!?!

Can we say first world problems??? LOL

On top of that, I am still having problems with my right calf.  It is very tight and I am no good at rolling it as that hurts.  I am a bit of a softy sometimes.  According to my chiropractor I should get a massage, it would do me a world of good.  But at $90 for 1 hour I don’t think so.  A group buy deal for a massage at a third of the price appeared in my inbox.  Then that deal site was having a 10% off sale … There is a limit of 2.  The price for 2 hour-long massages with discount is $52.20 …

Oh temptation why must you call my name so loudly.

Confession time.

I was mindlessly wandering through Winners and found a purse I really liked.  Like really, really liked.  So I put it on my shoulder and continued perusing the store.  I found a non-stick wok that matches the 2 pots I bought while in the States.  Gourmet popcorn also made it into my hands.  I went to the cashier and bought them all.  *hiding head in shame*

Red purse


Isn’t it pretty?

On the bright responsible side I came home and had buyer’s remorse so I returned the purse and the popcorn the next day.

We are only 6 days in. ARGHHHH!!!

I may have to turn off my phone, avoid my email and lock myself in my room for the rest of the month.

The boat ride

This weekend just flew by.

On Saturday, I went to see my friend’s new toddler.  She’s so sweet.  She took a minute to warm up to me then it was all smiles.  My friend and I ended up going out to Thai for lunch while her hubby took care of their kids.  They are such a sweet family.  I did take a few pictures of her latest addition but I am still getting used to my camera.  I suppose if I were a smarter girl I would just practice more.

After lunch my enabler girl offered up the local stores.  I didn’t think I needed anything … and then we went to Reitman’s.  I always seem to find something in that store.  I was thinking that the capri’s I have at home might be a bit too casual for the boat ride so I went looking for something a little dressier.  I found it and more.  I left the store with 2 pairs of black capris (one casual, one dressy), 2 sleeveless tops (one casual, one dressy) and a dress, that I can either dress up or dress down. 😉

After shopping, I raced to pick up my sister as I was to meet another friend for 6 pm at her parents’ house.  She was driving us to the boat ride.  The tickets said the boat was leaving promptly at 7:30 pm.  I picked up my sister and sent her to pick up some takeout Chinese for her and Princess to eat for dinner.  I quickly ran to the bank and when I returned my sister told me there was a 12 minute wait for the food.  She was gracious enough to walk to my house with the food.  It’s less that 5 minutes so I didn’t feel too bad.

I left my house later than I planned to and arrived at 6 pm.  There was no one there.  Not my girlfriend.  Not her parents.  Not my girl’s hubby. o_O

Her hubby, who is usually late, arrived before she did.  It was kind of funny.

Anyhoo, we left and headed downtown.  Did I mention it is construction season in Toronto?  We were meeting up with 3 other car loads of people who were all at various stages of the journey.  They kept us up-to-date with the current traffic conditions better than the radio.  It was a bit stressful as it seemed like we were not going to make it to the boat before 7:30.  Keep that time in mind.

Once close to the dock we encountered more traffic and the headache of trying to find parking.  My GF’s cousin went to a lot that wanted $22 and decided against it.  I told the folks in the car we are cutting it too close to be choosy.

Eventually we caught up to one of the cars we were meeting and my GF & I got out of the car and walked to the boat.  Hoping to get in contact with the guy who had our tickets.  At this point it was after 7 pm.  He too was on his way down stuck in traffic.

When we got to the boat there was a crowd of people outside that did not look like they were boarding.  It was all very relaxed.  At 7:40 pm we found the guy with the tickets.  And shortly after that my GF’s hubby and the other car load of folks showed up.  We decided to get on the boat at this point.

We picked a table and sat.   And sat.  And waited.  It was 8:30 before they closed the door.  So much for 7:30 sharp.  All that stress and nervous energy for nothing.

The boat ride itself was alright.  Nothing exciting to “write home about” as my Aunties usually say.  Dinner was served almost as soon as we left the dock.  We debated waiting for the crowd to thin but of course that decision was made in the line and we figured we were already up.  It’s a good thing that we went when we did as they ran out of food. O_o

Dinner was minimal.  A bit of rice, a chicken leg and some salad.  Good thing I wasn’t hungry.  My GF’s hubby bought me a couple of glasses of Pepsi and I suppose I should be happy as when I went to buy him and alcoholic beverage, it left me $7.50 poor.  You do not want to see the small cup that was given to me.  Robbery, I tell ya.  I bought 2 bottles of water and it was $7. *cries quietly*

The music was good.  The crowd was interesting.  The capri’s that I was planning to wear would have still been dressy as far as the crowd was concerned.  There were folks there in jeans and t-shirts.

My GF said we know for next time.

I am not sure that there will be a next time for me.  At $50, it’s a bit steep for a “dinner/dance” in my book.  I did like that because it was so pricy there was not the a lot of questionable looking folks.  There was a big age range as I saw people there my mother’s age.  It was a nice mix.

As a side note, where we ended up parking was $8. 🙂

A busy weekend to come

Sometimes it seems like when it rains it pours.  Most week-ends I have just my regular chores, and I am home thinking I should do something exciting.  Then out of no where I have weekend that’s jam-packed.  Doesn’t anyone know I was free at other times? LOL

Tomorrow around mid-day I am going to see a girlfriend who just adopted the most perfect child to fit into her family.  It really did seem like this little girl was meant to be with my girlfriend.  I’m so happy for her and excited to meet her newest addition.  (I will be taking my new camera and hopefully I can get some good pictures.)

Tomorrow night is a dinner/dance boat cruise that I let myself be talked into going.  I think it should be fun.  I have not been out to party in far too long.  I am becoming a little old lady.  Soon all I will need are the 7 cats. 😉

Sunday I am going to visit my cousin in Kingston.  We are going to have a picnic at a beach.  It should be a great time.  **Note to self: Pick up a lens filter if you want to take the new camera.  I think sand and new camera may not go well together. lol

Since I have all these plans, I really need to kick it up a notch tonight and do some chores so I am not crying next week.



I am struggling with this recently.

I have a girlfriend who is in crisis.  We have been friends for more than 1/2 my life.

10+ years ago she got married and moved away.

We still remained close with scattered visits which included her husband.

Over the years, her hubby & I got close.  Not that kind of close, get your mind out of the gutter.  We became true friends, in fact he is like the older brother I never had.  We discuss/debate all kinds of topics.  He has opened my eyes to a whole new way of thinking.  Challenged me when I started to get complacent.  Supported me when I was struggling.

Over the past few years, I noticed that I actually became closer to him than to her.  I would call or skype her and she & I would speak for a few minutes then she would run and get her hubby to come and talk to me.  He & I would gab for hours about nothing and everything.

I thought it was strange that when we were all together she would stop talking the minute he started.  And he is a talker.  So she rarely spoke.

I should have seen this as a sign of troubles but she always seemed to be a submissive wife so I let it go.  I have not bought into the biblical definition of a wife and since I am not heavily rooted in church nor am not married I figured if that works for them then who am I to say anything.

They were trying for a long time to produce an heir.  Their only successful attempt to get pregnant resulted in a miscarriage.  It was a hard and trying experience.  I figured that their faith would carry them through.  She had some issues that required surgery to ensure the next pregnancy would be carried to term.  This they paid for out-of-pocket, depleting all resources.

After the surgery, whatever rough times they were having grew.  She shut down.  He started talking to anyone who would listen, including members of her family and myself.  Now he didn’t go into great detail about their problems with me as he had already gotten into trouble with her about talking to others about their issues.

She has since returned back to my neck of the woods.  I learned through him that when they last came for a visit she found me cold and distant.  I don’t recall being this way.  But that is irrelevant.  All that matters is her perception.  I find it heart-breaking that she never mentioned it at all to me.  But took heed to his warning and vowed to be on my best behaviour.

Since she’s been back, I have seen her once.  She started to give me snippets of how their marriage really was.  It was not a pretty picture.  She brought up instances where he did not treat her kindly.  I was hurt and angry on her behalf.  I wanted to give him my $8 worth but left it alone.

The following day she called me at work to let me know that the story was not finished.   There was still more that she wanted to tell me.  And I being the dedicated employee I am I said go on.  At this point she told me about a young man that she had become close to and strayed with.  And that her husband just found out about it the night before.

I don’t know if she told me because she really wanted to tell me or fear that he would tell me first.  I don’t think the messenger would have mattered in this case.


To make matters worst the young man involved is one of the students at their boarding school who lives lived with them.  Before you get your panties in a knot, he is an adult … a young adult … but still legal.


I can’t imagine what went so very wrong between these two that it would come to this.  She has admitted culpability and regret.  Her husband has cut off all communication with her and has told her that it is over.

Now that you are all caught up, here is my dilemma.

He is also my friend.  I am extremely distraught to learn of these events.  I can’t imagine what it must be like for him right now.  I want to contact him to see if he is okay and listen if he needs to talk.  I can do this without betraying any thing she has told me. But it feels awkward.

Am I suppose to choose sides?  Not talk to him since she was my friend first?  Ask her for permission?